Premature Departure

I have found that most people have no clue what I am talking about, but I must share my tale despite this fact.

When I was between the ages of 8 and 10 years old, there was a Kellogg's cereal called Bigg Mixx, and I loved it! It was one of my favorites. This cereal was a combination of different flake and oats, covered with a sensational cinnamon and brown sugar mixture, that was very delightful to my young pallet. The mascot for this cereal was a giant beast created from a mixture of animals, and was called Bigg Mixx. He had the head and body of a rooster, moose antlers, the snout and tail of a pig, and the fur of a wolf, and to top it all off, he had crazy eyes. I liked this mascot, I thought he was cute, and I even sent in several proofs of purchase in order to obtain my very own, orange, plastic, digital watch featuring this crazy creature.

To my dismay, after a short 2 years, my beloved cereal was discontinued, never to be heard from again. I often think of this cereal and ask others if they can remember a better time when children had such a treat to share on Saturday morning as they watched their favorite cartoons. Sadly, most people either can remember it no longer, or were never privy to such a happiness as I experienced in my youth.

A couple of days ago I was once again reminiscing about my good friend Bigg Mixx, when I decided to try to find some tangible evidence, via the internet, that this memory of mine is more than a mere fantasy, dreamed up by the imagination of a person who has always enjoyed the simple pleasures of cold cereal. To my joy, I found a few internet sights offering up proof of the existence of this mythical creature and the story of it's short life.

After scanning through a few articles on the afore mentioned cereal, I was crushed to discover that my precious Bigg Mixx was voted, in 2007, as the 4th scariest cereal box personality of all time! PREPOSTEROUS! He's simply misunderstood! Even more now than ever can I understand how Frankenstein's monster must have felt! He too was a combination of body parts thrown together to create life, and people feared him and never gave him a chance, or they would have known how gentile he was.

So this is my ode to Bigg Mixx. May the few of us that still remember your simple, crazy, mixed together bliss, always remember, and try to reach out to those who don't appreciate you, and try to help them understand.

R.I.P.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ineMv7M_rI0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2oUqs9MJYM

Oh my holy freaking crapnoid!

I'm watching Wonderfalls, and I don't really like it, in fact, I don't recommend it, but it's like a train wreck, I can't make myself turn away... Perhaps I'm hoping it will somehow improve as time passes, but I feel there is a reason in only lasted one season...

In any event, it is only serving, at this point, to deepen my growing despair over my current situation in life. I feel for the main character in this show. She is a college grad working a stupid retail job, and is basically stuck in a rut while the lives of those around her continue to blossom and hold meaning... I would only be so lucky to have inanimate objects talking to me, it would liven things up.

WHAT AM I DOING IN LIFE? I'm so utterly and completely LAME! I have a stink hole job, and I can't find a better one to save my life. I have no circumstances worth mentioning in the work aspect of me life... or pretty much in any other aspect of life either, if we get down to it.

I have friends, but somehow never see them. I'm tired when I get home from work, and as the year draws once again on fall and eventually winter (vomits in mouth and chokes it back down), and the days shorten, my desire to go out after work in the ever darkening evening is diminished exponentially. I have no ward to call home anymore, I'm not part of my South Weber ward anymore, due to boundaries being strictly enforced, and I don't feel like my new singles ward is where I should be. My only other option for church right now is a conventional/ "Family" ward, and I would really prefer not to go there either, I'll no doubt serve another sentence in the nursery there, and I'd really rather not. I have no guys in my life to make things even remotely exciting, and I am fighting against reality as it pulls me ever closer to 30, with nothing to show for it.

I'm in THE biggest life rut known to man at this point in time. I feel nothing but despondency when I look around me. My life is in ruins. It's depressing to think I'll be stuck at Big Lots the rest of my life... All 70 years that are left of it... (melts into a desperate puddle of pathedicness and and seep into the fibers of the mattress for a good, solid 5 minutes before recovering), I'm a little fatty with no social life and the energy of a 87 year old arthritic woman, the love life of leper, and the same place in the world that Frankenstein held... that of a nomad and a loser who is shunned by society and forced to roam from place to place looking for a niche the right size to squeeze into and rest for the remainder of ones life... which is becoming increasingly shorter as the long and dreary days of pointless existence take their toll...

Someone, PLEASE make the madness stop! I'm 2 seconds from running away and joining a traveling band of carnies just to mix things up and make things different from the eternal SAMENESS I am destined to endure!

Hawaii- August 2010

My cousin Tawni and I kept saying how we needed to take a trip together, but we never made it happen. Then on Father's Day we were chatting at our grandparent's house, and decided it was time to make it happen, so we made some plans, and in August, we went to Hawaii.

We had to go from SLC, to Las Vegas, to LA, and finally to Honolulu, but we finally made it. The trip from LA to Honolulu was a long one... literally and figuratively. I wasn't able to sit by Tawni, and I was sitting next to a 13 year old boy that TALKED my ear off the ENTIRE way! Holy cow! I was ready to just turn my ears off after that.

We took a cab to our hotel and crashed for the night.

The next day we got up and headed down for out "continental breakfast." Much to our disappointment, the breakfast consisted of... toast, a small cup of pineapple from a can, pineapple juice (probably from the same can as the pineapple), and if you knew to ask, a small croissant from the plate they hid from the view of the people.

We scarfed down our meager meal and headed off to find someone to take us the the Polynesian Cultural Center. We asked 3 cab drivers, no one knew what were talking about... They lived on this small island, and they didn't know how to find the biggest tourist attraction on it... strange.

We made our way back to the hotel, and found, to our luck, a concierge desk. The lady there was able to get us set up with a bus ride to the PCC and an entire package to get us set up for the day there. We took the bus up to the PCC and were set up with some tour guides. We had a girl from Fiji, and a guy from Ukraine as our guides.

We toured the PCC, and had lots of fun, and learned lots of stuff... then I noticed our tour guide from Ukraine was giving me the eye, soon he was approaching us and staring at me nonstop as I tried to make conversation with him... awkward... but he was a nice guy... and we are facebook friends now... ha ha... :) Later we went to a luau there in the PCC and enjoyed lots of yummy food and a little entertainment.

After eating we wandered a bit and took some pictures and then headed to the big show. It was a really cool show they put on and the dancing and such was great, we also got some yummy ice cream at intermission.

The next day we had plans for another luau that night, so we went to the beach during the day, waikiki beach. Tawni is afraid of water, so I had to urge her to get into the ocean with me, which she finally did, and we had fun and goofed off, took pictures, and got clobbered by waves when we got to close to shore. (ha ha ha)

The luau that night was good, but it was slightly disappointing after the fun night we had the day before at the PCC. The luau was on a beach though, and it was beautiful, and the food was good.

The next day we went to Pear Harbor and a flea market. Pearl Harbor was super interesting, and sad as well. I was noticing how many Japanese people were there, and I was a little surprised. The shuttle driver on the way home told us he has a lot of Japanese friends working on the island, and said that the Japanese visit a lot to pay their respects and ask forgiveness for what their ancestors did. He said they also fly over the same path they took to attack Pearl Harbor each year, and drop flowers in respect for the lives lost that day. Interesting.

By the time we were done at Pearl Harbor and the flea market, I was SO hot, SO sunburnt, SO dehydrated, and SO tired, that we went back to the hotel, went and ate dinner, and crashed. We went to bed early that night, we were bushed.

On Sunday we didn't have any plans, we mostly wanted to get some shopping in, so we went to the market area, and I bought lots of stuff for myself... and some for my family. :) Hey, it's my vacation. :)

That night we went to the pool at our hotel, and Tawni was in the pool, I was sitting on the edge, and this guy comes down. We were the only ones in the pool at the time (it was outside, but some hotel rooms were outside) and he came over and got in the hot tub behind me. I wasn't watching him, but Tawni pulled a face and told me to look at him. I turned to look and he was pulling the khaki shorts off that he had over his swimming suit. I said, "yeah, he came down with those on." Tawni said, "No, that's not the problem, it's that those are the second pair of shorts he's pulled off." I laugh and we go on talking. Then we hear laughing from the hot tub. I look and the guy is reaching across the hot tub, and I just assume he is laughing to himself at something he dropped in the hot tub. A few minutes later the laughing is louder and isn't stopping. Tanwi asks if he is alone, I say he is, she asks if he's on the phone, I say he's not. I turn and look again, and he is swimming around in circles along the edge of the hot tub laughing to himself. I just think he's weird but Tawni is scared, so we hurry in and go back to our room.

The next day we get up bright and early and head back home. Our layover in Las Vegas is supposed to be like 3 hours, but to our luck, we ask a guy at a counter a question, and the next thing we know, we are boarding a plane to SLC right then. My baggage shows up on my front porch in the middle of the night, and it didn't even cost us extra to get home 3 hours earlier. YEE HAW! :)

And that my friend, was a nutshell of Hawaii. It was fun, but now we are home again.

Now for my next trip in March, to Australia! YAY! :)

Lake Powell- June 2010

Not long after returning home from the cruise, my friend Jenny invited me and some other girls to join her family on a week long Lake Powell vacation. I had never been to Lake Powell, so I was not only excited to go on vacation with my pals again, but to experience Lake Powell.

We spent our days sleeping, eating, swimming, floating on tubes, wave running, boating, wake boarding, tubing, and in general just having a blast.

I had never tried to wake board before, so it was my first experience with it. I watch my friends try, and some succeed, and I watched Jenny's brother and his friends show us a thing or two about how it was done, but I wasn't getting up. Jenny's brother was trying to instruct us, but for some reason I couldn't get up. Later in the week Jenny's dad took us out. After trying once and not getting up, he told me how to change what I was doing just slightly, so I tried it, and I got up, I was so excited, we all were able to successfully wake board that week. My arms were sore, but it was a good sore... probably the only exercise I got all week, but I guess that's what vacations are for. :)

Thanks again Jenny. :)

Caribbean Cruise- April 2010

This was, so far, the biggest group we have had on our travels. There were 11 of us, and it took 3 rooms to accommodate us all.



We woke up nice and early Saturday, and made our way to the airport where we took our first flight to Atlanta, Georgia. We stayed there long enough to have some lunch and make our way to San Juan, Puerto Rico. We got into San Juan kinda late, so some of us went to bed and some went a wandered around the streets for a bit. The next morning we made our way over to the ship and climbed on board to begin our cruise.

(BTW- The computer is being weird about uploading pictures right now, I'll have to come back later and add them in, maybe...)

So we toured our ship, which happened to be the same ship we were on on our last Caribbean cruise, and just enjoyed a chilled out day.

The First day we had our first port in St. Thomas. The 3 of us who had been on the last Caribbean cruise together had been here before, but this time instead of going to St. John, we went to Water Island, and to Honeymoon Beach were we enjoyed a lovely day of swimming, tanning, playing, eating, and generally just relaxing. It was a nice little beach, we were not too crowded, and there was a lady from New York that had left the hustle and bustle of the city to set up her own little hut on these beach to sell yumm-o food to the tourists and the people on the island.

We made our way back to the stores by the ship and did a little shopping before hoping back on and getting ready for dinner. We filled up an entire large table with just our group, and people certainly took notice of the group with "All the single ladies", and several people commented on it.

As the details are beginning to fade some, due to my lack of promptness to get this posted, I'm sure I'm missing plenty of good stories, but I will just do my best.

So the same people who shared hotel rooms in San Juan, shared rooms on the ship. I didn't seem to notice the first night together, in San Juan, but once on the ship, we discovered that we had a snorer in our room. Bless her heart, she was not aware of this tendency she had, but it certainly kept us up at night, and I guess one night it finally got to me and I lost it...
The next morning we were chatting at breakfast and the topic somehow came up, of snoring, and this is when we learned that the snorer didn't even know she snored. Later that day I approached 2 other girls in the group, and they asked me about how I had yelled at people the night before... I looked at them for a second to gauge their seriousness, and seeing that they meant it, ask "I did?" They looked at each other and started laughing. Apparently in my sleep I shouted, "STOP SNORING!" To my great relief the girl snoring was wearing ear plugs and never heard it, but the other two girls in the room now thought I was off my rocker, although they were glad I said what they were thinking... I pleaded my case to them, and they soon were laughing at me too, but I guess I'm going to have to control my thoughts in my sleep a little more since high emotion tends to bring out sleep talking.

Our second day on the cruise we were in Dominica, were we split up into 3 different groups and each took a different hike to different waterfalls in the rain forest. We couldn't all agree on the same hike, we we all went where we wanted too, which is a great thing about having such a large group, it's easier to break off when we each have different ideas of what we wanna do.

It was a fun hike, and we got to swim in the pool under the waterfall, which was really cold, but I enjoyed it. Then we hiked back out and headed back to the ship, stopping to do a little shopping before getting back on.

The third day we were in Barbados were we took a catamaran out and got to snorkel with fish at one stop, and sea turtles at another. It was cool to be that close to them, but it did scare one of our friends, and she headed back in to get away from the fish. After snorkeling we played on a beach and the guys that took us out gave us lunch and back in we went. One of the guys was a huge flirt and kept hitting on my friend and I, it was pretty funny.

The fourth day we were in St. Lucia and we took a bus up to the rain forest, and there we were split into 2 groups (because of our size) and we got to zip-line through the rain forest. Our guides were Melanie and Faron, who were a lot of fun, but they didn't get along with each other too well... But it was a good time. :)

The Fifth day, we were in St. Kitts, we decided there wasn't a lot to do there, so some girls went to a couple of beaches, and other, including myself, stayed on the ship and just relaxed and enjoyed the day.

The Sixth day we were in St.Maarten, we had been here the fist cruise as well, but instead of snorkeling here like we had before, we took a ferry over to another part of the island and hit some flea markets and then the beach before heading back again.

The next day were back in San Juan, and since it was Sunday some of us made our way to a church and got there part way through sacrament meeting. It was fast Sunday so we listen to the testimonies in Spanish, and afterward were greeted my several friendly members hoping to help us understand the meetings since they would all be in Spanish. There were some missionaries there that day, but they were afraid of us, a bunch of girls, since they haven't talked to girls much for awhile... ha ha ha... but eventually they came to assist us in translation. It was a nice day and we went back to the hotel to get other girls, and put our stuff away. We then made our way to the San Juan Fort to check it out. Some of us stopped to eat at a cute little bistro first, and then, regenerated, made our way to the fort.

It was a windy day, but it was cool because so many people were out flying kites on the grass by the fort. WE walked around to the entrance and commented on the fact that someone was going to end up getting clothes lined by one of the kites, and then on the way out of the fort, one kite attacked my friends Jenny and Kristianne, so we had to save them... it was sad cause the string hurt them, but it was sort of funny too... glad it wasn't worse. The next morning we headed home bright and early, and got home late... only to be greeted by snow! Poo! We enjoy a nice sunny vacation and come home to that? It's hard enough to come home as it is, but that makes it worse... But I lived. :)

Okay, sorry, that was the short version... Maybe more pictures to come...

Well...

I realize that I said my next post would be about my cruise, and that I said that a long time ago, but... here is the thing. I have not made my blog private because I really don't care who reads it, and sometimes people I know come across it through other peoples blogs, and if they don't know how to contact me, then they can't ask me for an invitation... BUT, as some of you may have noticed, I have been getting a bunch of comments in Chinese on my blog posts, and they are incoherent to me, and they are becoming more and more frequent, and are really just too much, I don't know these people and their comments are not useful since I can't read them. So, to sum it all up, I am THINKING about going private. I don't know whether or not I care, like I said, if certain people I don't know want to follow my blog, but I must request that all comments be in English (since that's what I speak, and this is my blog) and of relevance to the post. Thank you that is all.

Four Things I Learned on My 2010 Caribbean Cruise

Okay, I'm bad at posting tales of my travels, there is so much to say, and I find it daunting, but I decided I would try to get the ball rolling tonight.

Four Things I Learned on my 2010 Caribbean Cruise:

1- Be happy with what you have.

Somebody, I forget who, said that most of these islands are considered third world, and I suppose it was varified by some of the homes, annual incomes, and just general living conditions that we learned about the people on these islands. Yet, despite how these islanders lived, in comparison to the lives we are used to, these people are a typically happy bunch of people. Everyone seemed to be proud of their island, their island was the best Caribbean island in their eyes, and they think they live in paradise, despite not having many luxuries we have.

I come home, and I and meet with foul weather, less than ideal issues at work, as well as drama, and a laundry list of things I want to change in/about my life. Wow, what's my problem? Don't get me wrong, I do use my blog to vent things, but I'm really a pretty happy person. So why is it then, that I can't appreciate the fact that Utah gets to go through all 4 seasons, even though some seem longer than others, and some bring a few more trials, but not everyone gets that experience. Don't get me wrong about my job either, I'm happy to have one, even though it is sometimes draining, so why not appreciate it all the time? I'm healthy, my needs are met, and I have great family and friends, so why don't I think I live in paradise?

2- Be Patient, and Expect the Expectable, and Un-expectable

Similar to the reasons in number one, the overall attitude of the people in the Caribbean, these islanders are considerably patient. I'm sure part of it is the laid back way of life, and that tourists are their livelihood, so they are out in the fresh air all the time, but they still have their stressors. When I was in China a couple of years ago, I was terrified by their traffic and the overall driving experience there. I was glad I was on a bus, and I just had to try not to look at the near collisions happening all around me in order to not feel anxious about it. I swore, I could never be persuaded by money or any other means to ever personally drive a vehicle in China.

Well, it would probably not be much easier to get me to drive on some of the roads in the Caribbean, they are a little scary too, but I noticed something different there. Yes, in China there is honking and maybe even some road rage, and it seemed a lack of patience on the part of many drivers, but in the Caribbean, the drivers seemed to expect other drivers to do dumb things, and it didn't bother them. Our taxi would be cut off by some other, non-signaling, non-caring driver, and the driver of the cab would slow, but barely flinch at the poor driving etiquette and disobedience of the laws, it was as if they knew the driver was going to do it in advance, and they were prepared. I never really heard mumbling under ones breath, or saw rude gestures, they just calmly adjusted to fit the situation.

So what's my problem? I yell at foolish drivers, even if they can't hear me. I occasionally stare a driver down as I pass to let them know I think what they just did was rotten. I allow myself to get bothered by the inappropriate behaviors of people both on the road and off. I need to take a lesson and just slow down, chill, and expect that things will happen, so be ready to adjust to fit the situation.

3- Live Every Day Like a Vacation

Now, I don't think that I should never have work, or never be responsible, but on my trip, I enjoyed myself and basked in each day. I knew my vacation wasn't going to last forever, so I tried to savor every moment, and soak up the day. When I am home, I find myself wishing time away as I wait to leave work, or look forward to some specific place in time I want to be, and I don't live in the moment enough. It's time for me to see what I have in every moment of the day, and stop wishing my life away. I need to live like this won't last forever, and like any given day is one in a handful of final days.

4- Vacation From a Good Habit, is the Birth of a Bad Habit

I told myself that I could do whatever I wanted to do on my vacation, and I should enjoy it because it was my time to let loose... true, and not so true. I wish that I had only loosened the reins on my healthy eating a little. I didn't want to let myself miss out on new and exciting things to eat because I was trying to stick to strict eating habits, but I went a little too far and threw healthy out the window, and it's been hard reviving it in many ways.

I didn't workout like I do at home, but I did get exercise everyday in various forms (always taking the stairs, hikes, swimming, and lots of walking), and I think I was okay in that respect, but I am finding it hard to get back into the swing of things. I find this to be true, really, with all things. If I miss reading my scriptures once, it turns into twice, and then before I know it, I haven't read them for multiple weeks or months. I am so glad that I was wise enough to maintain at least that one good habit while I was on vacation.

Well, I guess that's it, tune in next time, for the first episode of "High Times, on the High Seas."

Observations of The Opposite Sex

Okay, I should be in bed right now, but I've been thinking about this for some time, and I decided that I want to finally get it all out in words before I go to bed tonight.

Now, I predict that some of the points that I will be making won't sit well with others (I'm too picky, I'm too this and that, blah, blah, blah), just remember 2 thing; 1- I am entitled to my own opinion, and 2- this is about observations, I have not done a full on study with charts and graphs, it's simply and series of events over many years that have lead to the following conclusions.

As you all know, I am LDS. I was raised LDS, I believe the teachings of the LDS church, and I do my best to live my life the way I should based on those beliefs. I feel that I am a good, upstanding person, with high morals, and a fairly good head on my shoulders. While I am always striving to improve both my mind and my physical health, I am not perfect, but I think that I am a decent catch by most standards. I am not conceited, I just have learned to accept myself and try to see the good in myself, and I don't think I'm half bad.

That being said, when and if I get married, I fully intend to do so with an LDS man, whom I love, in an LDS temple. My point? Well, I do not date very much. When I do get asked out, it is 90% of the time, by and guy who is not LDS, or extremely inactive LDS (like the, baptized at 8 and never went to church again after that because their family wasn't active, kind of inactive), and the other 10% of the time, it's by LDS guys who are creepy, weird, or, yes, I'm sorry to say it, mentally handicapped (literally).

My conclusions? Well, remember, I'm simply acknowledging the truth that the evidences leads me to believe, but LDS guys, are losers. Wait, wait, wait! Calm yourselves down, I do intend to offer further explanation.

Observation #1: LDS guys have... let me clarify, non-creepy, non-weird, non-mentally handicapped, LDS guys, have developed a sense of superiority in their minds as far as what they believe women want (even though LDS guys are a dime a dozen in Utah), and they think that they are so amazing, that they deserve to have only THE MOST beautiful woman they can find on their arm. It's true, trust me. Unless you look like a supermodel, or pretty dang close, you get passed up by "eligible" LDS men in... at least in Utah.

Observation #2: LDS guys think that, again, they are so wanted and superior, that the women will come after them. Again, trust me on this one, it's true. Now I realize that I am old fashioned, and I believe that guys should do the asking out and the initial perusing in the relationship, but I've found, many women still feel this way, not just me. The guys in my ward have made it clear that they think girls should ask them out. My Bishop once asked the guys in our ward to raise their hands if they felt the girls should be actively involved in asking the guys out, and a large majority raised their hands. I think they just don't want to do the work, and think they are important enough that the women should come after them.

Observation #3: Mormon guys take for granted what they have in Mormon women. Mormon guys get used to dating "good girls" who have high standards and live their lives a certain way, and by the time they become adults, they are bored with "good girls" and they seek out the "bad girls". Many non-Mormon guys chased "bad girls" at a young age, and as they mature, they grow tired of it, and they seek out more wholesome women. I also think for that same reason (taking things for granted), many Mormon guys don't know how to treat women, they are not gentlemanly, they assume whatever they do will be okay, because they are a catch and if the ladies want to keep such a great catch, they will deal with what ever he throws their way, AND they actually seek out a lot more physical intimacy and at a earlier point in the relationship.

NOW, I'm not saying that only Mormon women are wholesome, or even that ALL Mormon women are wholesome, because that is CLEARLY not the case. I know many non-Mormon women with amazing standards and are very good people, and I know mayn Mormon women who are not so wholesome, and live crazy lives. I'm just trying to make a point, and talking about all categories of women complicates my point and takes too long, I'm trying to make this semi-brief. SO, please understand, I'm not trying to say Mormons are the only good people or anything even close to that... really I could have talked about the problems women have with guys in general, but then that changes what I'm trying to say specifically about Mormon guys, and THAT is the only reason for the specific use of Mormons for this entire rant I am going on. I am Mormon, and it relates specifically to me, and that is why I'm writing this, it's about me, not ALL women. OKAY!?

ALSO, I'm mostly talking about single guys here, clearly and naturally, the good ones marry off quick because they aren't idiots, and they treat women right, and they find a marriage worthy girl and hang on to her, like any smart man would. Really, there is a reason these guys are still single.

Observation #4: The older a Mormon guy gets without being married, the weirder he gets. Seriously! That's why I'm thinking that at my age, I've past the prime marrying time, unless I want to marry younger, because 30 seems to be the the onset of some of the worst weird qualities, and it worsens from there.

On my cruise, I went with 10 other ladies, and one night we were sitting around our dining table sort of chatting about dating, and we learn that no one at that table dates much. I looked around me, and it about made my head spin. There I sat, surrounded by 10 other women, who were not only beautiful on the outside, but also on the inside. Each of these women would be an amazing catch, and yet not one of them is even being highly sought after. What is wrong here people!?

So what is a girl to do? Well... I don't know about the rest of you in my shoes... but not only are non-Mormon guys (non-creepy/weird/handicapped, non-Mormon guys... with a few exceptions) the ONLY ones that ask me out, but they seriously treat me so well! But I still won't marry outside my religion or the temple, so basically, I've accepted that I'm not getting married. No seriously, I've resigned myself to that fact. I'm just going to spend the rest of my life date various non-Mormon guys without getting married. I don't need sex, and when they decide they do, they can move on. :) I will just continue to spend my money and time on me, and work to make myself the best woman I can so that when I die, maybe I'll get one of those 2,000 stripling warriors. ;)

Granted, these truths may only be truths in this fair state of ours, BUT since this is my home, then this is what I deal with, because I'm here, not there.

Anyway, so if you have ever wondered why I'm single, there it is, in black and white. If you've ever wondered when I'll get married, the answer is, when i die. :)

Thank you and goodnight! :)

The Story of Garry

This morning, I was was informed of some very sad news, and that was of the passing of a friend of mine. I decided I wanted to write my story about him down, since details are already beginning to fade. I don't even expect people to read this blog, I'm mostly writing it for me. If you do choose to read it, be warned, it will probably be long, as well as religious to some extent, so if you aren't religious, deal with it, or don't read it. XOXOX :)

June 2004
I was 21, not yet 22. I was big into instant messenger at the time, and I would chat away with my friends on the computer. One day I added (so I thought) the email address of someone I wanted to IM with, and logged out for the day. A couple of days later, this person was online and began to talk to me. Very quickly I realized that it was not who I thought I had added, and I apologized for the mistake. He informed me that he didn't mind and began to ask questions to get to know me, and I returned the inquiries. I learned that his name was Garry, he lived in Minnesota, and he was 24 and had a son. We continue to chat, and the next thing I know, it has grown late.

We talk again a few days later, and again we chat about everything. Eventually, as we talked the subject of religion came up, and he informed me that he had never heard of Mormons. He began to inquire about my religion, and the next thing you know, again, we are up into the late hours of the night, and I'm sending him pictures of some temples, his favorite being the Salt Lake temple. He asks me questions about the temple, and temple marriage, as well as what I expect in marriage when I one day did get married.

At some point in the month, we exchange phone numbers, since we aren't always able to catch each other online, and he calls me for the first time on July 3rd. I remember the day because I remember that it was a year that the 4th fell on a Sunday, and I had been on a date that day that had ended just before he called me, and I sat in my house talking to him as I listened to the fireworks go off somewhere outside. We talked for hours, till my phone died, and after that, talking on the phone was the only way we talked.

Months pass, and we get to know each other pretty well. Garry is nothing but nice to me and pays me compliments freely. We talk about everything under the sun, and just thoroughly enjoy talking to each other. Soon our conversations become fewer and far between as we both get busy with life, but our conversations are still rather lengthy when we do talk. Then October 2005, Our family goes to Logan to visit my sister for her birthday, and as we are coming out of the restaurant Garry calls. The conversation is cut short when his phone dies, but suddenly he is very much on my mind. I drove myself up to Logan alone that night, so on my way home my thoughts are turned to missionary work. All I can think of is how I need to be a missionary. I feel overwhelmed and near tears when I get home, so I just go to bed, but I didn't sleep well that night, I tossed and turned.

The following Sunday was fast Sunday, since the last had been conference. I was sitting in the chapel at church listening to the testimonies being born. I remember that my bishops wife got up to bare her testimony, and I was struck again. I don't even remember if it was something that she said, or what, but the thought came to me "Send Garry a Book of Mormon." A wave of butterflies washed over me at the thought, and I became very nervous. I was afraid to send him a Book of Mormon. I was afraid to share something so important to me with someone who may or may not reject it. I was pretty sure I knew him well enough that he wouldn't be offended by it, and I didn't feel he would ridicule my beliefs either, but I was afraid nonetheless. Finally I asked myself, "What do you have to lose?" If he does reject it, and it makes things awkward and you are not able to talk to each other the way we once did, then I'll live. It's been a few months since we've really talk anyway, and I haven't known him so long, or even in person, that it would alter my life significantly if it did change our friendship for the worst. So, I set about figuring out what I was going to do.

I didn't want to ask Garry for his address, I was afraid to do that, I didn't want him to know I was sending him anything, I just wanted him to get it. So I searched him out on the internet, and eventually found him, but had to pay a little money to the web site to get them to give me his address, so I did it.

It took me some time to get his address and work everything else out, so a couple weeks had passed. I bought both a Book or Mormon and a D&C, I bought him 1 or 2 short little church videos, and I threw in a letter from me with my testimony, and a copy of the Proclamation to the family, as well as a pass along card in case he wanted to contact any missionaries. I nervously sent the package, and the waited, VERY anxiously.

One day, about a week later, I was getting ready for work, I was noticing how close we were coming to Garry's birthday, and I started to wonder what was taking him so long. "Please!" I begged in my mind, "Just respond! Say something to me, I'm going crazy!" then my phone vibrated to signal I had received a text. I opened my phone to see Garry's name and I began to get nervous. I wanted a response, and here it was, but what if it was a bad one? I was afraid to open the text, but I did.

"Thank you for the package. I really like the book."

Joy and disbelief seized my body and I began to shake. I text something back, and I was responded to with a phone call. I talked to him as long as I could, but I had to go to work so he said he would call me that night. All day I was a mess, anxious to talk to my friend. That night he called me and we talked for some time. He told me that he first started flipping through the Book of Mormon reading the things I had highlighted, then the just started reading at the spot in the book where he was open to, he read the last two books in the Book of Mormon, and then moved to the first of the book and read all the way through. We talked about things some, but the conversation was not as long as I hoped, and we said goodnight. At some point, I was talking about him to my mom and sister, and my sister informed me that she had a friend serving a mission in Minnesota. She promptly wrote her friend and gave him Garry's information, and that was it, nothing happened.

Again, the conversations were few and far between, but we did talk some. Nothing religious was brought up again, he didn't talk about it, and I was afraid to bring it up because I didn't want that to seem to be the reason I wanted to talk to him, because it wasn't, I was just happy to get to talk to him. Then April 2006. It was the Saturday before Easter. I was fast asleep when a call came into my phone and woke me up. I knew the only person who ever called me in the middle of the night was Garry, so I reached over, grabbed my phone, and gave a groggy "hello".

"Hello Beautiful!" I was met with his cheerful voice, heavy with his Minnesota accent. I greeted him back and soon he was talking like crazy. I noted in my mind the difference in him. Normally he was just very calm and not super emotional... not that he was ever grumpy or depressed, but he just didn't show much emotion in his voice, and often I found myself being the one to move the conversation along when he made a late night phone call, despite him being the one who always made the call. After some time talking on the phone, I finally address his exceptionally cheery mood. He laughed... something I'd never heard from him before... normally he just would inform me that despite his silence, he was indeed smiling, laughing was just not something he readily did. I even once begged him to laugh for me, but he would not comply, he simply had a smile to his tone of voice and said he didn't laugh. That night was different though, that night he did laugh, and I was filled with delight at the sound.

"So did you send those guys to my house?"
"What?"
"Did you send those guys to my house?"
"What guys?"
"The two missionaries from the church of the Mormon's?"
"What?"
(Garry laughs)
"I was outside, and two missionaries from your church came up to me. I was confused at first, but then when they said your name, so I started talking to them."
"You've been talking to the missionaries?"
(Garry laughs)
"Yes, and I've gone to church too."
"Really? Since when?"
"I've gone a few times."
(Garry laughs)

I was so shocked! I stayed up all night talking to him again, too wide awake now to ever go to sleep. He told me about how nice everyone was, and how he loved to hear the things that they had to say at church.

Once again, the conversation ended and it was sometime before we talked again. I spent a few late nights talking to him and his cousin on the phone, and he even made an attempt to come to visit Utah, but his fear of airplanes kept him landed. He was convinced he was going to die in a plane... how sad that sounds to me now.

Over the course of the next few years we began to talk less and less... soon it was a few text here, and a few text there.

"Just wanted to see how you are, beautiful." A text I received often from him over the time we knew each other, became the only thing I ever really got from him. I know we were very far apart, and living our own lives, but I was sad to see the once very alive friendship die off.

This week I got home from my trip, and went about my life as usual. I had made a vow with myself a few months back not to text Garry anymore unless he text my first, because it tended to make me sad when I got not response for a few days, or just a simple response. But I broke my own rule this last Saturday, and I sent him a text. As expected, I received no response. Then this morning, as I'm getting ready for work, I get a text. I am happy to see Garry's name flash across my phone's screen, and I click the message open. the first line states that the author is his girlfriend... 2 thought cross my mind, first; good for him, he's a good guy and deserves to be in a relationship, and second; great, is she mad to see another girl texting her boyfriend. Then my eyes move to the next part of the message. "I just thought you should know that Garry passed away." My heart sank, and my jaw dropped. I scrambled to send a reply back. "What!? How? When? That makes me so sad!" she responds back "April 11, he was hit by a car. Drunk driver." I gasp, and quickly send her a responds with my condolences to her and his family, and thank her for the information.

As tears stream down my face I quickly move to scour the internet for verifiable proof of this most disturbing news. To my dismay I see his name stretching across the top of an obituary accompanied by a picture with his smiling face. How can this be!? I had always believed that I would have the privilege of one day meeting this long distance friend of mine, and now I'm being forced to accept that it will never be a reality. Then my heart wrenches as I think of his poor son who just lost his father, and his family who lost a beloved son, brother, cousin, etc. How can this be true, pinch me!

All day long every conversation I have ever had with Garry has been running through my head, and I can't get past that feeling that it doesn't feel real, and I can't believe I will never get to talk to him again, or hear his endearing voice, or read another letter in his handwriting, a be greeted with another text from him addressing me "Beautiful."

I guess we just never plan to lose people in our lives who are young and healthy. We anticipate that elderly people in our lives will die before us, but when someone we thought would always be around is met with a untimely death, it's hard to accept it as reality.

I know that whatever pain he felt from the accident was over with when he died, and that he is safe from further harm or pain now, but my human and ever feeling heart is aching over the loss of my friend. I am however very glad that i decided to text him when I did, because had I not, I wouldn't have learned of his passing... I wold have probably eventually tried to call him, only to find the number was no longer in use or belong to someone new. I'm thankful to have been able to be informed and not go about my life wondering whatever became of my friend.

Goodbye, Garry! You are my friend and I love you and will miss you.

**************************************
I was reading over some messages from Garry I had saved to my phone from over the years, and I felt like adding a couple here, again, for my own sake.

"U wanna know sumthing, I really love u, u r so kind, loving, funny, u just make my heart smile every time we talk."

"Wanna hear sumthing weird, I think about u all the time, aint that sumthing..."

"Lucky girl, U found a guy that likes you for you, and not just your looks, they are just a bonus!"

"Good morning! Hows my hot, sexy, irresistible girl doing this morning?"

"By the way, I would dance with you." This was in response to some conversation we had had the night before... it made me smile.

"We are meant for each other maybe."

"I want u to have feelings for me, cuz I have them 4 u."

"She can't be, it's not possible, cuz you're the most beautiful girl ever."

Oh! What a Casanova! He was always trying to woo me. *Sigh*

Coming Soon...

Have no fear, all the lovely details about my most recent voyage will be posted shortly, I simply must find the time. :)

What A World We Live In

I'm on one today about this poor 15 year old Irish Emigrant who was driven to suicide by her monstrous classmates.

A brief recap of the story in case someone hasn't heard...

A mother and her children move to America (Massachusetts) from Ireland 6 months ago, in hope of allowing her children, most particularly Phoebe, to be able to experience America and what it has to offer. Sadly, experience it she did. Pretty much from the get go, Phoebe became the target of harassment and abuse from a group of popular girls who self-proclaimed themselves to be "mean girls". These girls did not like that certain boys at the school liked Phoebe, and they felt she needed to be shown her place. The "mean girls" began to torment Phoebe at school by knocking her books from her hands, calling her names, and bullying her till she would run from the room crying. These sorry excuses from humans would torture her to and from school as well, and then began to seek her out on the internet and persecute her there as well. From what I understand, a couple of older boys raped her as well. For 6 months this poor thing endured the torture laid upon her relentlessly, including comments that she should kill herself, until one day a boy one of the "mean girls" liked, ask Phoebe to a dance, and that did not fly. After a rough day at school, Phoebe was walking home and one of the girls drove past and launched a can of Red Bull at her and yelled something terrible at her. Phoebe, mentally bruised and broken, promptly finished her journey home, walked inside, and proceeded to hang herself in a stairwell, where her sister later found her.

TRAGEDY!

This angers me on SO many levels! First, before I launch into my biggest beef, the administration at the school, KNEW about the bullying, and did NOTHING!! Apparently this is not the first time either. This school is notorious for having bully problems, and the administration NEVER does ANYTHING! One article I read mentioned how one student, after being interview on camera at the school, was promptly approached and punched in the face once the camera was off for having done the interview. This same article also mentioned one student's claim that he was punched in the stomach for befriending a student who was currently being bullied, because they didn't want him to even have friends. HELLO!!! Excuse me moron adults, what is the FREAKING point of you even being in the school in you don't do a DANG thing to protect those kids!? Those people need to be prosecuted!

THEN, there are the malevolent student themselves! WHAT THE HECK!! Who are the fools raising these spawn of Satan? These children have obviously missed the lessons about kindness, tolerance, and love for others, and the have begun to take joy in throwing their weight around and seeing what they can make other people do. These kids should also be prosecuted and charged with second degree murder and any other charges that would fall under the abuse they caused.

Of course, like any enabling parent with no control over their child would, the parents are each claiming their child's innocents, because they are too sweet to do that. YEAH RIGHT! If any child of mine did that crap, I'd hand them over to the law and ask them to please let them feel the full weight of what they have done!

I've seen the correlation drawn between this story and another from a few years ago, and it's sickening. If you will remember, there were 2 girls who had a falling out, once having been BEST FRIENDS, and the mother of one decided to torture the other girl. She was a cyber stalker and bully, and repeatedly told the girl to kill herself, and one day she did. The horrible woman was prosecuted, but escaped all punishment. I think it's sad that she got away with mentally and psychologically abusing this girl, regardless of the medium, she should have gotten second degree murder and abuse of a minor charges brought on her as well.

Not only am I truly embarrassed that someone would come to our country and be treated with such incivility and primate like mentality, but I'm truly distressed about the world we live in today.

Let's face it, we live in a world where bullying is the norm. Someone wants something, so they will try to get it, but if the other person won't cooperate as they would like, they take by force. Everyone thinks they are entitled to any and everything they want without giving anything in return, and they've learned that the weak will crumble when enough pressure is applied. Whether it's a free meal at a restaurant, a giant discount at a local retailer, or the return to the top of the "hotty" list in the public High School, once these animalistic terrorists decide they want it, they don't care who they hurt in the process, they WILL have it.

Working retail I see it all the time, someone comes in throwing out wild accusations and making a scene and trying to pit people against each other, whether in the same store or at another, in hopes of getting something for free, even though they don't really deserve it. People will sue anyone at the drop of a hat anymore, and I've seen tactless ogres in restaurants make a scene and blow crap WAY out of proportion, just so they can have their meal for free, and these immoral youngsters were no different. They knew what they were doing and they were hoping for they outcome they got. They saw her as an obstruction to what they wanted, and knew the next best thing to killing her, was to have her kill herself, clean hands, right? These apes felt no remorse, after her death. A friend of Phoebe's made a memorial page to her on Facebook, and the freaks still hadn't had enough, they had to slander her with appalling comment there as well.

Why is there no control in the school, or the homes? It should be done at home, but the children with uninterested parents should be caught up in the next filter, the schools. The kids needs to be protected from themselves and others. I have had an interested in shows that investigate real life crimes and real life criminals, and delve into the nitty-gritty of why and how, for sometime now, and I would have to say that 90% or more of the people that commit heinous crimes (I don't mean petty crimes, I mean big ones) come from homes where they were either treated poorly or entirely ignored, even when they were being bad in hopes of getting attention.

So what does that say about people today if there are more and more criminals and such? HELLO! The problem is in the home! Get it together people! Take care of your kids! Maybe it's time for parents to start taking some responsibility in their own life as well as in the lives of their children. There is no pride in being a good person anymore, just in being good at being bad, and the parents are either the same, or too busy shooting up, getting drunk, making the next big buck, or finding a new lover, to care if their kids are living life right. Those are some AWESOME priorities people!

And that is my rant for tonight. Goodnight.

Oma Darling

(I don't have a picture of Oma on here, so I stole this from my cousin.)

Yesterday (March 11, 2010), my Charlott Spencer, my Great Grandma (we called her Oma, German from 'Grandma'), died at the ripe ol' age of 98. Oma was 4 short months from making it to her 99th birthday.

Oma is my dad's, dad's, mom. Oma lived in Michigan where my dad's family is from, and lived in a retirement home type apartment building. Oma was a social butterfly, and she didn't let age stop her from living her life. She hung out with her friends and played games (her favorite was Uno), and she got out with her freinds and road the bus around town.

Oma had 3 children, and many grand children and great grand children. Oma's daughter, my great aunt Bev, passed on before her, as well as her husband and many other loved ones, that I'm sure she is thrilled to be with again now.

I LOVE that Oma lived so long and well. She was as sharp as a tack and as happy and funny as anyone I know. I have a few memories of Oma that I just can't help but smile over, and I love to tell them, so I will now too.

***********************************************************************************

One day we were in Michigan, my family and I, and my sister and I were in the kitchen at my grandparents house. Oma was visiting us there that day, and she walked into the kitchen from the living room, and stopped part way through her journey to look at something that was on the floor.

"What is that?" she asked.

My sister and I walked over and looked down to see a little black rock on the floor at her feet.

"A rock." we said. "

"Chocolate?"

"A rock."

"Chalk?"

"A rock."

"Chocolate? Like from a cookie?"

Giving up, we finally agreed, "Yes Grandma, chocolate from a cookie." We picked it up and threw it away giggling at how cute Oma was.

************************************************************************************

Amanda (my sister) had hiccups one day (again, in Michigan), and Oma became concerned about her health, and suggested she go see a doctor about those hiccups.

************************************************************************************

Last time I was in Michigan, we went to visit Oma at her apartment. We always made sure to eat a good meal before we went to visit because we wanted to have a good/true excuse not to eat her food, because she would always offer us expired food (makes me smile to think of it). Well, on this particular day, we walked into Oma's apartment to find her with a bad wig on. It was brown and short, and it was not on straight and was poking up in places. No one wanted to say anything because we were afraid she was making an atempt to look younger. After offering us food with no takers...

"You better eat up, you'll be hungry later!"

She decided it was time to play a game of Uno with us. The cards were delt, and as we began to play, Oma suddenly exclaimed;

"No one said anything about my wig, don't you like it?"

We all looked up at her and she began to laugh and pull off her wig. She was trying to be funny, and was waiting for someone to say something about her wig, but we didn't wanted to hurt her feelings, so we remained silent. What a funny lady. :)

************************************************************************************

Well, there are other stories, but those were the ones I wanted to share. I'll miss Oma, but I know she is better off. I'm sad she is gone, but we all knew it would happen sooner or later, she couldn't live forever, and we were lucky for all the time we had with her. We were prepared for the day she would leave us, but we will still miss her so.

I love you Oma!

What a sad day!

Well... we went through a scare with Lilly, they told us she more than likely had a incurable disease that would kill her after torturing her, and we would have to put her to sleep. As I prepared myself to put my little puppy to sleep, they ran some tests on her brain fluid, and found that she really didn't have that disease, and that she in fact had a disease called Hydrocephalus, which she was born with. Hydrocephalus causes her to produce excess fluids on her brain, which was putting added pressure on her brain, and all around messing her up, but, it was treatable. So now Lilly is doing better, she will be on steroids the rest of her life, but she will be okay.

Then we got hit again. Saturday night Junior (Lilly's brother, and my sister's dog) starting acting sick, and then Sunday morning he could use the back half of his body, he was dragging himself around.... he was paralized. We frantically called my mom and one of the vets at her work, and got them to meet Blake and Amanda at the clinic with Junior. They tried to help him and make him better, but it just got worse, and he was in SO much pain. Today Blake and Amanda had to make the difficult but humane choice to put him down and relieve his suffereing.

Our loveable little guy is gone. We are all very sad, naturally Amanda is more so, since he was her dog, but we are all feeling the loss. Lilly doesn't know what is going on, but I'm sure she'll start to wonder where he is and why he's not around to play with her and cuddle with her. It's all so sad.

I wish Junior wasn't gone, I hate that it had to happen, but I know he is okay, and he is playing with our other dogs, Sadie and Pern, and free of pain.


I love you guts Jun, and I miss you happy little face.