I LOVE my dog, she is such a sweet, loveable, loyal, little thing, and she is my baby. On January 31st (sunday), I came home from visiting my parents and got lilly and went to bad, and she was shaking, so I thought she had diarrhea, so I took her outside, nothing. so we went back to bed and she just shook till she was good and asleep. The next day she seemed fine, the next night she seemed fine, then Tuesday night, she was shaking again. So I took her out again, nothing. Wednesday, she was not very lively, she just slept all day. Nothing Wednesday night, Thursday she was still blah, Thrusday night shaking, Friday, blah, Friday night shaking, Saturday she was just not interested in anything, so my concerns elevated, and I knew I needed to get her to a vet first thing Monday. It wasn't an emergency, and it was the weekend, so I figured Monday was the soonest I could get her in, if then. Sunday she was blah again, didn't want to eat, and just laid around all day. I decided to poke and prod and squeeze her to try to see if she reacted in pain to anything, but nothing happened. I left her home that day to rest, and I went to visit my parents.
When I came home that night, I went to retrieve her from the couch to go to bed, and she yellped. I couldn't figure out why. We went to bed and she was shaking. Just as I was dosing off, Lilly woke me up so I could hold her. I wrapped my arms around her and she laid her head on my neck. I touched her face and she whined in a way that suggested I hurt her. I touched the back of her head and she did it again. I started to feel paniced for her, and wished It was moring so I could call her vet.
The next morning, my mom text me to ask how she was and I relaied the story. She told me to bring her in to her work, an animal care center in Bountiful. So I went to work, did my little monday assignment, and punched out 15 minutes later to go home and get lilly and take her to bountiful.
A little while after I got back to work, my mom called and said that Lilly had a problem with a disk in her lower back, and she was in pain. She told me that they gave her a anti-inflamitory, and that she would have to take them the rest of her life, and that one of the doctors at her were was going to start therapy on her that day, heat, electro, and water. She said that her back may not get worse, but it could get worse, and she could end up paralized. :(
So after therapy that day my mom to her home, and I went to Bountiful again after work. I stayed with my parents for a few hours, and Lilly was 100% better, but she was somewhat better. Then she slept from exhaustion of her day and we went home.
My mom had credit at her work to help pay for any bill, but the doctor didn't charge for anything, even the meds. The next day, she was sore agian, and she not lively or anything, even after her meds, so again, she went back in for therapy. She stayed in Bountiful that night, and the next day my mom to her to work again and she go more therapy, and some acupuncture. My mom brought her to my house after work, but I was still at work, and they said he was back to normal. When I got home, blobs-ville. We went to bed and she had me up all night whining anf kicking her back legs. Finally we got to sleep, and made it thought the night.
Things were not different this morning, she was blah, even after her meds (but she is eating now by the way), so we went back to bed for a bit, and then I got up and left her there. I walked past my door and I could hear her in my room whining and crying under the covers, so I pulled the covers off, and she looked at my all pathedic.
I'm so sad about her. I want her to be better right now, and never be in pain again! I know daschunds had a tendancy to have bad backs, but she's only 3.5 years old, and she has been reduced to a lifeless blob with a brain. It's SO SAD! :(
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
I'm Not Crazy
So today at church the girl giving the lesson in sunday school mentioned something about how when you better understand your relationship with your Heavenly Father and that you are his child, you begin to pray instinctively... or something to that effect.... so I began to consider that, and here is what I realized.
I do know I am a daughter of God, and I pray/talk to him CONSTANTLY! I never really thought about it before, but if someone were to have hidden cameras up wherever I go, they would think I was crazy, but I'm not, I swear.
When there is someone there with me, I always voice my thoughts, observations, opinions, etc, to them, weather they care or not, however, when I am alone, I think, and sometimes voice, those thoughts and such to the only person I know can hear me, my Heavenly Father. Often times the things I tell Him are silly, but since I know He knows my every thought, sometimes I just can't help but talk to Him about it. Whether I'm appologizing to Him for the mean thought I just had about someone, or I'm asking Him to help me find a way to accomplish something, or just voicing something I want to put into words and get out of my head, I'm ALWAYS talking to Him. I know I can't hear His reply, but I'm not awlays looking for a reply, just a listening ear.
Now like I said, it's not always a vocal thing, sometimes, when I'm terribly bored in a meeting at work, or I want to point out something funny that just happened, but I can't voice it to anyone else, I talk to Him in my head about things, as if He were there next to me reading my mind and laughing along with me.
Do I sound nuts to you now? I probably do, and maybe I'm wrong, maybe I am crazy, but I can't help be be aware of His presence and know that at any second I can speak to Him. I'd like to think that is a good thing, not a crazy thing.
I do know I am a daughter of God, and I pray/talk to him CONSTANTLY! I never really thought about it before, but if someone were to have hidden cameras up wherever I go, they would think I was crazy, but I'm not, I swear.
When there is someone there with me, I always voice my thoughts, observations, opinions, etc, to them, weather they care or not, however, when I am alone, I think, and sometimes voice, those thoughts and such to the only person I know can hear me, my Heavenly Father. Often times the things I tell Him are silly, but since I know He knows my every thought, sometimes I just can't help but talk to Him about it. Whether I'm appologizing to Him for the mean thought I just had about someone, or I'm asking Him to help me find a way to accomplish something, or just voicing something I want to put into words and get out of my head, I'm ALWAYS talking to Him. I know I can't hear His reply, but I'm not awlays looking for a reply, just a listening ear.
Now like I said, it's not always a vocal thing, sometimes, when I'm terribly bored in a meeting at work, or I want to point out something funny that just happened, but I can't voice it to anyone else, I talk to Him in my head about things, as if He were there next to me reading my mind and laughing along with me.
Do I sound nuts to you now? I probably do, and maybe I'm wrong, maybe I am crazy, but I can't help be be aware of His presence and know that at any second I can speak to Him. I'd like to think that is a good thing, not a crazy thing.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Interesting Thoughts I Had... Interesting to me. :)
So, I've mentioned dreams a couple of times in my blogs before, I just think they are so interesting. I think I mentioned it before as well, but my dreams are very vivid and I always remember them in the morning.
Two dream myths I have been told, and can personally vouch for their de-bunk-ability.
1- We can't dream in color.
Says who? How do you know what my dreams look like? You can only see your own, and we all have different minds and imaginations, so how can anyone say that for a fact? I, in fact, dream in color everynight, unless I'm sick. Only when I'm sick to my dreams lose color and they speed up to a pace that could drive a person mad. Otherwise, color!
2- You can't read in your sleep, it's impossible because doing so would require you to use a portion of your brain that would wake you up.
Whatever! I read thins in my dreams ALL the time. In fact, Wednesday night, I was DEEP asleep, and an employee of mine sent me a text message at 1:30 in the morning.... so I guess I should say Thursday morning... in any event, I was sent a text. My inbox was full, so the phone just kept vibrating twice every minute or so as a reminder that I wasn't reveiving the text I was sent. At first, and for some time, the double vibration my phone was making was becoming part of my dream. My friend Nicole was texting me and I was reading everything the messages said.
"Hi Audrey. What are you doing? I'm just sitting here, my family wants to watch Mrs. Marple instead of the show about electric people on the discovory channel, boring!"
"Now they want to watch (I forget) instead of the show about people who can control electricity, boring."
I know they make no sense, but I was reading them.
Everytime the phone would vibrate, I dreamed another text was coming in. Soon the texts were not coming in (as in real life) but my phone was vibrating to tell me I was full, so I was trying to read and delete as fast as I could. Soon I did wake up, but only when my subcontious realized that the sound was real, and not a dream, it had nothing to do with reading.
So weird!
And then, I was thinking about another thing about dreams... it's a curious thing.
Now things like this have been in my dreams before, but this is just the latest example to illistrate my point.
Last night, I was dreaming I was talking with a friend who was with a friend of his, and for some reason, I was getting into my friends the car with them (even though I had my own), and since they were in the front, I had to get in back. The car was small, and the back of the passenger seat met with the front of my legs as I sat there. The seat next to me was full of boxes or something, so I was confined to the small space I was in. As I was talking to my friend, his friend said "Sorry "so-and-so", I think I made a mess of your back seat." I hear him, but I had no clue what he was talking about, and neither of us bothered to stop and ask, I really only barely heard him.
As I left the car and walked away, I looked down at my white shoes, light blue jeans, and green hoodie, and saw that I had ketchup smeared all down the front of me, on my shoes, pants, and the bottom of my hoodie. Suddenly I remembered what he had said and I whirled around to yell at him for letting me get into the car when he knew he had made a mess. But I woke up before I could say anything.
My point? Well... I had no clue what the guys meant about messing up the back seat, and the realization of what he meant later, was a shock to me.... so how do our minds do it? I mean, did my mind know all along what the story was going to be, and it was just not letting my in on the secret, or was my mind making it up as it went and seeing how it all played out? It's so crazy how the connection was made from something I barely even heard someone say to what happened later.
It's just so crazy! I really do like to see what "movie" my mind has in store for me each night, it's usually quite entertaining, and rarely ever a re-run.
Two dream myths I have been told, and can personally vouch for their de-bunk-ability.
1- We can't dream in color.
Says who? How do you know what my dreams look like? You can only see your own, and we all have different minds and imaginations, so how can anyone say that for a fact? I, in fact, dream in color everynight, unless I'm sick. Only when I'm sick to my dreams lose color and they speed up to a pace that could drive a person mad. Otherwise, color!
2- You can't read in your sleep, it's impossible because doing so would require you to use a portion of your brain that would wake you up.
Whatever! I read thins in my dreams ALL the time. In fact, Wednesday night, I was DEEP asleep, and an employee of mine sent me a text message at 1:30 in the morning.... so I guess I should say Thursday morning... in any event, I was sent a text. My inbox was full, so the phone just kept vibrating twice every minute or so as a reminder that I wasn't reveiving the text I was sent. At first, and for some time, the double vibration my phone was making was becoming part of my dream. My friend Nicole was texting me and I was reading everything the messages said.
"Hi Audrey. What are you doing? I'm just sitting here, my family wants to watch Mrs. Marple instead of the show about electric people on the discovory channel, boring!"
"Now they want to watch (I forget) instead of the show about people who can control electricity, boring."
I know they make no sense, but I was reading them.
Everytime the phone would vibrate, I dreamed another text was coming in. Soon the texts were not coming in (as in real life) but my phone was vibrating to tell me I was full, so I was trying to read and delete as fast as I could. Soon I did wake up, but only when my subcontious realized that the sound was real, and not a dream, it had nothing to do with reading.
So weird!
And then, I was thinking about another thing about dreams... it's a curious thing.
Now things like this have been in my dreams before, but this is just the latest example to illistrate my point.
Last night, I was dreaming I was talking with a friend who was with a friend of his, and for some reason, I was getting into my friends the car with them (even though I had my own), and since they were in the front, I had to get in back. The car was small, and the back of the passenger seat met with the front of my legs as I sat there. The seat next to me was full of boxes or something, so I was confined to the small space I was in. As I was talking to my friend, his friend said "Sorry "so-and-so", I think I made a mess of your back seat." I hear him, but I had no clue what he was talking about, and neither of us bothered to stop and ask, I really only barely heard him.
As I left the car and walked away, I looked down at my white shoes, light blue jeans, and green hoodie, and saw that I had ketchup smeared all down the front of me, on my shoes, pants, and the bottom of my hoodie. Suddenly I remembered what he had said and I whirled around to yell at him for letting me get into the car when he knew he had made a mess. But I woke up before I could say anything.
My point? Well... I had no clue what the guys meant about messing up the back seat, and the realization of what he meant later, was a shock to me.... so how do our minds do it? I mean, did my mind know all along what the story was going to be, and it was just not letting my in on the secret, or was my mind making it up as it went and seeing how it all played out? It's so crazy how the connection was made from something I barely even heard someone say to what happened later.
It's just so crazy! I really do like to see what "movie" my mind has in store for me each night, it's usually quite entertaining, and rarely ever a re-run.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
A Few Little Tid Bits
1- I used to kindda feel bad that I NEVER post on my blog, but lately I've noticed, I'm really not the only one, and so I don't feel as bad anymore... not that people live to read my blog, but just that I felt like I was boring and lame that I couldn't come up with anything to blog about, or get myself to do it.
2- I'm DYING for summer! Or, at the very least spring. I want long days, warmth, and more reasons to go outside. Summer, how I miss thee!
3- I've been wearing the same three pairs of pants to work for about a year, and naturally, I have to wash them each once or twice a week, and it's begining to show. At the time I bought these pants, I bought them in this size (10) and a size smaller (8) for that day when I would finally fit in them. Well, a few days ago, I realizzed that 2 of the three pants officially have worn holes in the crotch where my thunder thighs rub together, rendering them no longer useful for their origianal purpose. I had 2... no, make that 3 choices; buy new pants (didn't want to by another pair of tens), wear non-uniform pants till one of the other choices became practical, or try on the eights. I took a deep breath, and I grabbed a pair of the size 8 work pants... I was afraid to learn I couldn't squeeze myself in, so I hesitated... then in went one leg... in went the other leg... I pulled them up... I did a little 'fat girl' dance and stretch, and I brought the button side of the fly to the hole side of the fly.... DANG! That's a good dang. :) They fit! Yippy! Well, as I type, they are being washed, so they may not fit now they they've been washed, but they were good for one day a piece.
4- Related to item 3, I tried on some pants I have not dared to wear for about a year... I wore them some on my last cruise, but they were a bit tight and uncomfortable, but to my joy, they fit like they should now. That being said, as of this morning, I'm 151 lbs, so I'm down 9 lbs since the beginning of the year. Yippy-Ki-Yi-Ya! :) I'm still far from being toned and flat in the mid section, but I suppose that will come with time. 6 more lbs to hit the goal I set for where I wanted to be by my cruise, and I'm just over a month into it, and 2 months to go. If this keeps up, I might even exceed my goal. OH! and also, F.Y.I., at this weight, I'm pretty much tied with my own personal best, I've never weighed less than this though, so I'm proud of myself, I just need to keep it up.
5- Another related item. I've been eating really well, in comparission to my past. Here is a typical day-ish.
- breakfast: banana, crem of wheat or oatmeal with a smidgin on brown sugar for taste. 300 cal
- snack: baby carrots or apple. 100 cal, or 65 cal.
- lunch: green salad with chicken in it. 300 cal.
- snack: avacado, or carrots (if not eaten before): 100 cal.
- Dinner: veggies (steamed, or fresh, or canned, or frozen, or something) 300 cal.
Total: 1100 cal
BUT I tend to give in to temptation, and eat little naughties here and there, ie. a few crackers or chips, a couple bite size snicker or a little nutrigrain bar or something similar I don't need, maybe even some popcorn (not good kind, sugar coated kind). So that will up me to my limit of 1400 cal a day (sometimes It takes me past), but I never go too out of control, I just feel guilty after. :)
Sometimes I do go crazy thing, usually on the weekends... dang weekends... but I'm not perfect, and I can't be too hard on myself, I'm doing pretty good, right? And I'm still working out 6 days a week, I've only missed one day, and that was due to lack of proper rest the night before, so I think I can still say I'm on a roll! :)
Okay, then end!
2- I'm DYING for summer! Or, at the very least spring. I want long days, warmth, and more reasons to go outside. Summer, how I miss thee!
3- I've been wearing the same three pairs of pants to work for about a year, and naturally, I have to wash them each once or twice a week, and it's begining to show. At the time I bought these pants, I bought them in this size (10) and a size smaller (8) for that day when I would finally fit in them. Well, a few days ago, I realizzed that 2 of the three pants officially have worn holes in the crotch where my thunder thighs rub together, rendering them no longer useful for their origianal purpose. I had 2... no, make that 3 choices; buy new pants (didn't want to by another pair of tens), wear non-uniform pants till one of the other choices became practical, or try on the eights. I took a deep breath, and I grabbed a pair of the size 8 work pants... I was afraid to learn I couldn't squeeze myself in, so I hesitated... then in went one leg... in went the other leg... I pulled them up... I did a little 'fat girl' dance and stretch, and I brought the button side of the fly to the hole side of the fly.... DANG! That's a good dang. :) They fit! Yippy! Well, as I type, they are being washed, so they may not fit now they they've been washed, but they were good for one day a piece.
4- Related to item 3, I tried on some pants I have not dared to wear for about a year... I wore them some on my last cruise, but they were a bit tight and uncomfortable, but to my joy, they fit like they should now. That being said, as of this morning, I'm 151 lbs, so I'm down 9 lbs since the beginning of the year. Yippy-Ki-Yi-Ya! :) I'm still far from being toned and flat in the mid section, but I suppose that will come with time. 6 more lbs to hit the goal I set for where I wanted to be by my cruise, and I'm just over a month into it, and 2 months to go. If this keeps up, I might even exceed my goal. OH! and also, F.Y.I., at this weight, I'm pretty much tied with my own personal best, I've never weighed less than this though, so I'm proud of myself, I just need to keep it up.
5- Another related item. I've been eating really well, in comparission to my past. Here is a typical day-ish.
- breakfast: banana, crem of wheat or oatmeal with a smidgin on brown sugar for taste. 300 cal
- snack: baby carrots or apple. 100 cal, or 65 cal.
- lunch: green salad with chicken in it. 300 cal.
- snack: avacado, or carrots (if not eaten before): 100 cal.
- Dinner: veggies (steamed, or fresh, or canned, or frozen, or something) 300 cal.
Total: 1100 cal
BUT I tend to give in to temptation, and eat little naughties here and there, ie. a few crackers or chips, a couple bite size snicker or a little nutrigrain bar or something similar I don't need, maybe even some popcorn (not good kind, sugar coated kind). So that will up me to my limit of 1400 cal a day (sometimes It takes me past), but I never go too out of control, I just feel guilty after. :)
Sometimes I do go crazy thing, usually on the weekends... dang weekends... but I'm not perfect, and I can't be too hard on myself, I'm doing pretty good, right? And I'm still working out 6 days a week, I've only missed one day, and that was due to lack of proper rest the night before, so I think I can still say I'm on a roll! :)
Okay, then end!
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