The Story of Garry

This morning, I was was informed of some very sad news, and that was of the passing of a friend of mine. I decided I wanted to write my story about him down, since details are already beginning to fade. I don't even expect people to read this blog, I'm mostly writing it for me. If you do choose to read it, be warned, it will probably be long, as well as religious to some extent, so if you aren't religious, deal with it, or don't read it. XOXOX :)

June 2004
I was 21, not yet 22. I was big into instant messenger at the time, and I would chat away with my friends on the computer. One day I added (so I thought) the email address of someone I wanted to IM with, and logged out for the day. A couple of days later, this person was online and began to talk to me. Very quickly I realized that it was not who I thought I had added, and I apologized for the mistake. He informed me that he didn't mind and began to ask questions to get to know me, and I returned the inquiries. I learned that his name was Garry, he lived in Minnesota, and he was 24 and had a son. We continue to chat, and the next thing I know, it has grown late.

We talk again a few days later, and again we chat about everything. Eventually, as we talked the subject of religion came up, and he informed me that he had never heard of Mormons. He began to inquire about my religion, and the next thing you know, again, we are up into the late hours of the night, and I'm sending him pictures of some temples, his favorite being the Salt Lake temple. He asks me questions about the temple, and temple marriage, as well as what I expect in marriage when I one day did get married.

At some point in the month, we exchange phone numbers, since we aren't always able to catch each other online, and he calls me for the first time on July 3rd. I remember the day because I remember that it was a year that the 4th fell on a Sunday, and I had been on a date that day that had ended just before he called me, and I sat in my house talking to him as I listened to the fireworks go off somewhere outside. We talked for hours, till my phone died, and after that, talking on the phone was the only way we talked.

Months pass, and we get to know each other pretty well. Garry is nothing but nice to me and pays me compliments freely. We talk about everything under the sun, and just thoroughly enjoy talking to each other. Soon our conversations become fewer and far between as we both get busy with life, but our conversations are still rather lengthy when we do talk. Then October 2005, Our family goes to Logan to visit my sister for her birthday, and as we are coming out of the restaurant Garry calls. The conversation is cut short when his phone dies, but suddenly he is very much on my mind. I drove myself up to Logan alone that night, so on my way home my thoughts are turned to missionary work. All I can think of is how I need to be a missionary. I feel overwhelmed and near tears when I get home, so I just go to bed, but I didn't sleep well that night, I tossed and turned.

The following Sunday was fast Sunday, since the last had been conference. I was sitting in the chapel at church listening to the testimonies being born. I remember that my bishops wife got up to bare her testimony, and I was struck again. I don't even remember if it was something that she said, or what, but the thought came to me "Send Garry a Book of Mormon." A wave of butterflies washed over me at the thought, and I became very nervous. I was afraid to send him a Book of Mormon. I was afraid to share something so important to me with someone who may or may not reject it. I was pretty sure I knew him well enough that he wouldn't be offended by it, and I didn't feel he would ridicule my beliefs either, but I was afraid nonetheless. Finally I asked myself, "What do you have to lose?" If he does reject it, and it makes things awkward and you are not able to talk to each other the way we once did, then I'll live. It's been a few months since we've really talk anyway, and I haven't known him so long, or even in person, that it would alter my life significantly if it did change our friendship for the worst. So, I set about figuring out what I was going to do.

I didn't want to ask Garry for his address, I was afraid to do that, I didn't want him to know I was sending him anything, I just wanted him to get it. So I searched him out on the internet, and eventually found him, but had to pay a little money to the web site to get them to give me his address, so I did it.

It took me some time to get his address and work everything else out, so a couple weeks had passed. I bought both a Book or Mormon and a D&C, I bought him 1 or 2 short little church videos, and I threw in a letter from me with my testimony, and a copy of the Proclamation to the family, as well as a pass along card in case he wanted to contact any missionaries. I nervously sent the package, and the waited, VERY anxiously.

One day, about a week later, I was getting ready for work, I was noticing how close we were coming to Garry's birthday, and I started to wonder what was taking him so long. "Please!" I begged in my mind, "Just respond! Say something to me, I'm going crazy!" then my phone vibrated to signal I had received a text. I opened my phone to see Garry's name and I began to get nervous. I wanted a response, and here it was, but what if it was a bad one? I was afraid to open the text, but I did.

"Thank you for the package. I really like the book."

Joy and disbelief seized my body and I began to shake. I text something back, and I was responded to with a phone call. I talked to him as long as I could, but I had to go to work so he said he would call me that night. All day I was a mess, anxious to talk to my friend. That night he called me and we talked for some time. He told me that he first started flipping through the Book of Mormon reading the things I had highlighted, then the just started reading at the spot in the book where he was open to, he read the last two books in the Book of Mormon, and then moved to the first of the book and read all the way through. We talked about things some, but the conversation was not as long as I hoped, and we said goodnight. At some point, I was talking about him to my mom and sister, and my sister informed me that she had a friend serving a mission in Minnesota. She promptly wrote her friend and gave him Garry's information, and that was it, nothing happened.

Again, the conversations were few and far between, but we did talk some. Nothing religious was brought up again, he didn't talk about it, and I was afraid to bring it up because I didn't want that to seem to be the reason I wanted to talk to him, because it wasn't, I was just happy to get to talk to him. Then April 2006. It was the Saturday before Easter. I was fast asleep when a call came into my phone and woke me up. I knew the only person who ever called me in the middle of the night was Garry, so I reached over, grabbed my phone, and gave a groggy "hello".

"Hello Beautiful!" I was met with his cheerful voice, heavy with his Minnesota accent. I greeted him back and soon he was talking like crazy. I noted in my mind the difference in him. Normally he was just very calm and not super emotional... not that he was ever grumpy or depressed, but he just didn't show much emotion in his voice, and often I found myself being the one to move the conversation along when he made a late night phone call, despite him being the one who always made the call. After some time talking on the phone, I finally address his exceptionally cheery mood. He laughed... something I'd never heard from him before... normally he just would inform me that despite his silence, he was indeed smiling, laughing was just not something he readily did. I even once begged him to laugh for me, but he would not comply, he simply had a smile to his tone of voice and said he didn't laugh. That night was different though, that night he did laugh, and I was filled with delight at the sound.

"So did you send those guys to my house?"
"What?"
"Did you send those guys to my house?"
"What guys?"
"The two missionaries from the church of the Mormon's?"
"What?"
(Garry laughs)
"I was outside, and two missionaries from your church came up to me. I was confused at first, but then when they said your name, so I started talking to them."
"You've been talking to the missionaries?"
(Garry laughs)
"Yes, and I've gone to church too."
"Really? Since when?"
"I've gone a few times."
(Garry laughs)

I was so shocked! I stayed up all night talking to him again, too wide awake now to ever go to sleep. He told me about how nice everyone was, and how he loved to hear the things that they had to say at church.

Once again, the conversation ended and it was sometime before we talked again. I spent a few late nights talking to him and his cousin on the phone, and he even made an attempt to come to visit Utah, but his fear of airplanes kept him landed. He was convinced he was going to die in a plane... how sad that sounds to me now.

Over the course of the next few years we began to talk less and less... soon it was a few text here, and a few text there.

"Just wanted to see how you are, beautiful." A text I received often from him over the time we knew each other, became the only thing I ever really got from him. I know we were very far apart, and living our own lives, but I was sad to see the once very alive friendship die off.

This week I got home from my trip, and went about my life as usual. I had made a vow with myself a few months back not to text Garry anymore unless he text my first, because it tended to make me sad when I got not response for a few days, or just a simple response. But I broke my own rule this last Saturday, and I sent him a text. As expected, I received no response. Then this morning, as I'm getting ready for work, I get a text. I am happy to see Garry's name flash across my phone's screen, and I click the message open. the first line states that the author is his girlfriend... 2 thought cross my mind, first; good for him, he's a good guy and deserves to be in a relationship, and second; great, is she mad to see another girl texting her boyfriend. Then my eyes move to the next part of the message. "I just thought you should know that Garry passed away." My heart sank, and my jaw dropped. I scrambled to send a reply back. "What!? How? When? That makes me so sad!" she responds back "April 11, he was hit by a car. Drunk driver." I gasp, and quickly send her a responds with my condolences to her and his family, and thank her for the information.

As tears stream down my face I quickly move to scour the internet for verifiable proof of this most disturbing news. To my dismay I see his name stretching across the top of an obituary accompanied by a picture with his smiling face. How can this be!? I had always believed that I would have the privilege of one day meeting this long distance friend of mine, and now I'm being forced to accept that it will never be a reality. Then my heart wrenches as I think of his poor son who just lost his father, and his family who lost a beloved son, brother, cousin, etc. How can this be true, pinch me!

All day long every conversation I have ever had with Garry has been running through my head, and I can't get past that feeling that it doesn't feel real, and I can't believe I will never get to talk to him again, or hear his endearing voice, or read another letter in his handwriting, a be greeted with another text from him addressing me "Beautiful."

I guess we just never plan to lose people in our lives who are young and healthy. We anticipate that elderly people in our lives will die before us, but when someone we thought would always be around is met with a untimely death, it's hard to accept it as reality.

I know that whatever pain he felt from the accident was over with when he died, and that he is safe from further harm or pain now, but my human and ever feeling heart is aching over the loss of my friend. I am however very glad that i decided to text him when I did, because had I not, I wouldn't have learned of his passing... I wold have probably eventually tried to call him, only to find the number was no longer in use or belong to someone new. I'm thankful to have been able to be informed and not go about my life wondering whatever became of my friend.

Goodbye, Garry! You are my friend and I love you and will miss you.

**************************************
I was reading over some messages from Garry I had saved to my phone from over the years, and I felt like adding a couple here, again, for my own sake.

"U wanna know sumthing, I really love u, u r so kind, loving, funny, u just make my heart smile every time we talk."

"Wanna hear sumthing weird, I think about u all the time, aint that sumthing..."

"Lucky girl, U found a guy that likes you for you, and not just your looks, they are just a bonus!"

"Good morning! Hows my hot, sexy, irresistible girl doing this morning?"

"By the way, I would dance with you." This was in response to some conversation we had had the night before... it made me smile.

"We are meant for each other maybe."

"I want u to have feelings for me, cuz I have them 4 u."

"She can't be, it's not possible, cuz you're the most beautiful girl ever."

Oh! What a Casanova! He was always trying to woo me. *Sigh*