I'm watching Wonderfalls, and I don't really like it, in fact, I don't recommend it, but it's like a train wreck, I can't make myself turn away... Perhaps I'm hoping it will somehow improve as time passes, but I feel there is a reason in only lasted one season...
In any event, it is only serving, at this point, to deepen my growing despair over my current situation in life. I feel for the main character in this show. She is a college grad working a stupid retail job, and is basically stuck in a rut while the lives of those around her continue to blossom and hold meaning... I would only be so lucky to have inanimate objects talking to me, it would liven things up.
WHAT AM I DOING IN LIFE? I'm so utterly and completely LAME! I have a stink hole job, and I can't find a better one to save my life. I have no circumstances worth mentioning in the work aspect of me life... or pretty much in any other aspect of life either, if we get down to it.
I have friends, but somehow never see them. I'm tired when I get home from work, and as the year draws once again on fall and eventually winter (vomits in mouth and chokes it back down), and the days shorten, my desire to go out after work in the ever darkening evening is diminished exponentially. I have no ward to call home anymore, I'm not part of my South Weber ward anymore, due to boundaries being strictly enforced, and I don't feel like my new singles ward is where I should be. My only other option for church right now is a conventional/ "Family" ward, and I would really prefer not to go there either, I'll no doubt serve another sentence in the nursery there, and I'd really rather not. I have no guys in my life to make things even remotely exciting, and I am fighting against reality as it pulls me ever closer to 30, with nothing to show for it.
I'm in THE biggest life rut known to man at this point in time. I feel nothing but despondency when I look around me. My life is in ruins. It's depressing to think I'll be stuck at Big Lots the rest of my life... All 70 years that are left of it... (melts into a desperate puddle of pathedicness and and seep into the fibers of the mattress for a good, solid 5 minutes before recovering), I'm a little fatty with no social life and the energy of a 87 year old arthritic woman, the love life of leper, and the same place in the world that Frankenstein held... that of a nomad and a loser who is shunned by society and forced to roam from place to place looking for a niche the right size to squeeze into and rest for the remainder of ones life... which is becoming increasingly shorter as the long and dreary days of pointless existence take their toll...
Someone, PLEASE make the madness stop! I'm 2 seconds from running away and joining a traveling band of carnies just to mix things up and make things different from the eternal SAMENESS I am destined to endure!
